So, here I go with my first deviantation. I've decided to use this account to keep track of a number of things - photography, craft-related hobbies, and musings related to daily life. Today I've decided to (finally) write something about the lattermost of the three.

I feel very, very awkward about where I am presently. Waiting to start school in another town, not being where I want to be, etc. I know it isn't my fault that things didn't go as planned, and I know that in reality you can't hope to have control over everything in life. I'm learning that my present situation reflects my need to let go of a desire to be in control, as well as (by extension) a need to be more flexible in general. Things will work out, and I know that, because I'm determined enough that I'm not going to just give up on my dreams.

Presently a big part of my challenge is rooted in the fact that I am in such a transitional stage. Classes haven't yet started in my new town, but I do have my apartment and I have moved all of my things there. But I don't yet know anyone in the town and have difficulty meeting people and forming friendships. So despite the fact that I'm sure that I'm on the right path, and I love both the town and my new apartment, I don't feel that I belong there yet. I feel the same way at home, so I'm at this awkward stage in which no where feels like home to me anymore, like a place where I belong. My family doesn't intend to project this and it's moreso an issue rooted in my own psyche. I know that, but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with. I am hoping that this feeling is one that will simply pass in time, and will start to subside with the beginning of classes and continue to diminish throughout my first semester at my new school.

In the meantime I try to keep myself occupied with a number of things, including my hobbies. I left most of my jewelry supplies at my apartment which is 200km away from home, so that's unfortunate. In the meantime I'm getting some ideas for new items to create once I get back there. Also I forgot my acrylics in my apartment and only brought watercolors home, which are my least favorite medium to use in terms of paints... so that's also unfortunate, haha. I'm spending a great deal of time going for walks, sitting near my favorite trees and whatnot. The trees have become friends in a way, and I don't look forward to being away from them.

Anyway, that's it for now. Will write more in a bit. The mood doesn't strike me to write something publicly very often, but depending on the reception of this entry I may do more in the near future. I may also post some pictures tonight from recent trips and walks...